The Almighty Johnsons Wiki

You Call This the Real World?
Season 2, Episode 12
2.12 - Axl&Gaiatogether.jpg
Air date 16th May 2012
Written by James Griffin
Directed by Murray Keane
Episode guide
The House of Jerome
Does This Look Like Asgard?

You Call This the Real World? is the twelvth episode of the second season, and is the twenty-second episode of The Almighty Johnsons overall


Axl and Gaia's escape from the real world takes a turn for the surreal, while Mike discovers his world is not his alone, and Dawn's world comes to an unexpected end of the line.


We find Axl and Gaia parked up beside a beach. Since doing their impromptu runner they have been sleeping rough, in the car, without a change of clothes, or money, or toothbrushes, or, indeed, any of the necessities of life. Axl, especially, is getting tired of this lifestyle, but Gaia isn’t ready to go back to the surreal version of reality she is hiding from. She’s still got stuff to figure out, and is awaiting some kind of sign as to which path she will head down – the Frigg path or the Papatuanuku path.

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But the first sign Gaia takes any notice of, as they’re driving along a country road, is that advertising Brigadoon, a B&B in the middle of nowhere. It looks way too expensive for Axl’s credit card to deal with, and the owners, Beth and Tom, freak Axl out, but over his protests Gaia insists that they will stay here for the foreseeable future.

Back in the city, meanwhile, there are various unhappy campers. Dawn is unhappy with (and suspicious of) Natalie’s lack of progress on the business front; Jerome and his Maori God off-siders are unhappy that Gaia has taken off and that Mike is unwilling to go hunt her out; and Dawn is made even more unhappy because Helen seems to be part of the management structure at j:pr these days. And when Helen persuades Anders to use his powers to avoid paying a huge restaurant bill, it seems that Dawn’s concerns are entirely apt.

At Brigadoon Axl is convinced that the very genial Tom and Beth are actually crazed killers, who slaughter their innocent guests. But Gaia is feeling right at home at this odd Shangri-la, and she is beginning to chill out, to talk about what is going on in her head. Over dinner she confesses that she would like to be married, which Axl takes as a sign that she is leaning towards the Frigg (Goddess of Marriage) path. Gaia angrily rejects this notion and stomps out of the sauna she and Axl are sharing, leaving Axl to share his woes with Tom. Tom’s advice is that Axl needs to man up and sort out his love-life, or maybe she’s not the girl for him.

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Meanwhile, in the city, Olaf returns to the bar, where he leads Mike on a tour of the establishment, revealing the existence of many listening devices; a tap on Mike’s computer feed; and a hidden camera pointed at Mike’s bed. Then, through a hidden door, in a room under the bar that Mike had no idea existed, is Kvasir, currently unconscious. As Mike struggles to get his head round all this he gets a call from Colin, thanking him for the God/Goddess sex show and all of Agnetha’s money he managed to embezzle. Mike loses his rag, vowing to kill Loki. His bad day gets even worse when Jerome and his followers occupy the bar, until their Papatuanuku is returned to them. Mike has no option but to go retrieve the runaway lovers.

In fact, there are bad days happening all over the show, as Dawn has a tetchy run-in with the mysterious Natalie; and then she and Helen fall out, to the point where Helen uses her seductive charms to convince Anders to fire Dawn – for Dawn has no place in God business. So Anders fires Dawn, even though he doesn’t feel right about it, and uses his powers to ease the process. When Dawn tells Ty, and that she is going to use the opportunity to stay with her sick mother, Ty feels he cannot let her go.

In the surreal world of Brigadoon, Axl manages to confront Gaia about her refusal to acknowledge the reality of her situation – it is her birthday tomorrow and whatever will happen, will happen. Out of this he becomes more manly, and therefore more Godly, in her eyes and after he provides her with a sign of his devotion, she commits to him and to their love. Then Mike arrives to take them home – and, fortuitously, to pay the bill. Upon their return, Gaia tells everyone to leave the bar – and that everything will be sorted, one way or the other, tomorrow.

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Michele, furious to learn of Colin's spying, moves the Yggdrasil Stick to Ty's place with Stacey, before returning to the bar with Ingrid. They, and Olaf, tell Ty of Kvasir's appearance, and Ty is finally able to ask the question he wants answered; can he become mortal. Kvasir claims that there is, but they will need a source of rescusitation and a piece of Yggdrasil, which they have; thus Ty finds the path to his mortality. And after a ceremony involving The Stick, Ty starts hallucinating before suddenly dying in front of the others that are gathered, and Michele brings him back from the dead with her bare hands using the Stick's, though only after knocking out Olaf. Ty awakens, warm and mortal.



  • Writer - James Griffin
  • Director - Murray Keane
  • Script Editor - James Griffin
  • Storyliners - Tim Balme, Ross Hastings & Tiffany Zenhal
  • Producer - Simon Bennett
  • Executive Producers - James Griffin, Rachel Lang, Chris Bailey & John Barnett


  • Oh My - Performed by Gin Wigmore (Theme Music)
  • Llewellyn - Performed by Samuel Flynn Scott