|Typical Auckland God|
|Season 3, Episode 7|
|Air date||15th August 2013|
|Written by||James Griffin|
|Directed by||Michael Hurst|
And Then On to Norsewood
The Asparagus is Kicking In
Typical Auckland God is the seventh episode of the third season, and is the thirtieth episode of The Almighty Johnsons overall
A stag do with two stags leads Axl down the path to wisdom, while Ty finds that something that is forgotten isn’t necessarily gone.
Axl wakes up next to Suzie, after having sent Derrick home with his neighbor Thom, and spending the night drinking and sleeping with her. He then drives out to Derrick's farm to return his ute. Derrick is enraged to learn Axl allowed his enemies to drive him home, since he blames his neighbors, Thom and Kerry, for stealing his hammer. Derrick pleads for Axl's help to retrieve it back, so Axl goes to them to ask for it back. Kerry reveals that Derrick tried to kill them with it after a disagreement about the music they were playing (and because they are homosexuals). They agree to return it if Derrick apologizes to them directly, and returns their land.
Meanwhile Ty is on his courier cycle route when he spots several of Colin's campaign posters, most of which have Dawn on them. He complains to Mike and Olaf about Anders and Colin using Dawn, feeling that Anders has betrayed the family. Dawn later asks what Ty and Colin's issues are, and Anders tells her that Colin was Ty's father-in-law.
Derrick outright refuses to apologize, and claims that he owns the land since he has run it since before Thom and Kerry arrived. When Axl goes to Suzie for the facts, he notices that she is capable of pouring more alchohol than is in the bottle, and she coyly mentions there's always plenty when she's around. Ty complains to Stacey about having to deliver to JPR while Colin's there, and agrees to swap courier routes with Allannah since she is unhappy with hers. Before they head their separate ways, Ty asks Allannah to his place for a drink, to which she agrees.
Axl returns to the farm to find Thom and Kerry attempting to make peace with Derrick, who rebuffs their offer to buy his land officially and insults them for their sexual orientation. Aftet they leave, Axl asks Derrick if Suzie is a Goddess, and Derrick says he doesn't think so, but Axl suggests that she may be Frigg. After spending some more time with her, Axl asks Suzie about herself, learning that she is from Ongaonga and that her parents both died when she was two, which Axl thinks adds to the possibility that she is a Goddess and that she may not even know it.
Suzie asks Axl for help in serving drinks for a stag do, and continues questioning her, learning that when she turned 21 she thought there were fireworks in the sky. Thom and Kerry arrive to continue arrangements, and again offer to give the hammer back if Derrick comes to their stag party and apologizes sincerely, and dressed in something from his closet (which they snooped through earlier). When asking him about it, Derrick reveals that they are referring to his dead-wife's wedding dress, and shudders at desecrating it. However he agrees to go and apologize in the dress, but only if Axl goes as his bridesmaid.
Axl calls Mike and Olaf to report that he may have found Frigg and that she may not realize she's a Goddess. However, based on Axl's description of her abilities, Olaf reveals that the Goddess she is is Sága, not Frigg, who is Odin's best friend. Meanwhile Anders and Dawn are surprised to see that Allannah has taken over Ty's route, which Anders doesn't mind based on her looks, but Dawn seems uneasy. Later Allannah arrives at Ty's place and they start drinking together, when Anders and Olaf arrive, and Lance and Dawn.
Axl is uncomfortable in the frock he is wearing, and wonders where Derrick is. He calls him, but Derrick refuses to answer the phone. Axl asks Suzie to allow him to go and check on Derrick, and finds that he has taken down the fence he made to stake the ownership of his land, and has a noose around his neck. Derrick claims that Axl was right about him being a failure as a God, and Axl pleads for Derrick not to kill himself, and places himself in front of Derrick's tractor to appeal to him that he will have to take his life too. He admits that he too feels like a failure as a God and that no one respects him, but Derrick says he respects him, and agrees to not hang himself.
Derrick and Axl go to the stag party to apologize, and agrees to allow Thom and Kerry to buy his farmland. Thom is willing to accept, but Kerry refuses to accept without an apologize. Derrick, in an attempt to show that he does believe in love, sings the love song he sang for his wife, and Thom and Kerry give him the hammer back. Suzie is impressed that Axl has managed to sort the issues between the three, and the two kiss passionately.
Ty is unhappy that about the 'party' that has been going on, and overhears Lance's disapproving comments of Dawn's association with Colin, and discovers that he has frozen his wine glass. Surprised, he shows Olaf, both amazed that he has his powers somewhat restored, to Ty's anger. Olaf suspects that a part of Höðr still lingers within him. Later Allannah and Anders have left together and Lance has stormed off, leaving Dawn to see if Ty is okay with her association with Colin. A brief moment between them occurs, and Dawn suddenly has a quick flash of her and Ty together. Upon asking him about it, Ty lies about them ever having a picnic together, making Dawn think she is going crazy, but Ty assures her she isn't.
Thom and Kerry thanks Axl and Suzie for their work. Axl asks Suzie if she is generally happy, which she admits she is. Axl admits he had to leave, for good reasons, which Suzie accepts and they sleep together once more. The next morning Axl leaves, waving Derrick and Suzie goodbye and continues on his way to Norsewood. Upon arriving there, he spots a note on the town's viking-esque sign with his God name on it, which reads that Jörmungandr is stirring. Mike then shows up, having reportedly received a text from Axl asking him to come to Norsewood for help. (it is shown that Martin retrieved his phone after Axl threw it away and sent the text). Axl then agrees to go back home with Mike, and the two begin making the drive back to Auckland.
- Emmett Skilton - Axl Johnson / Odin
- Tim Balme - Mike Johnson / Ullr
- Dean O'Gorman - Anders Johnson / Bragi
- Jared Turner - Ty Johnson
- Ben Barrington - Olaf Johnson / Baldr
- Shane Cortese - Colin Gunderson / Loki
- Eve Gordon - Stacey / Fulla
- Fern Sutherland - Dawn
- Millen Baird - Lance
- Geoffrey Dolan - Derrick / Thor
- Colleen Davis - Suzie / Sága
- Kevin Keys - Thom
- Ryan Lampp - Kerry
- Amanda Tito - Allannah
- Matthew Saville - Martin
- Writer - James Griffin
- Director - Michael Hurst
- Script Editor - James Griffin
- Storyliners - James Griffin, Tim Balme, Ross Hastings, Natalie Medlock & Helen Searancke
- Producer - Mark Beasley
- Executive Producers - James Griffin, Chris Bailey, John Barnett & Kelly Martin
Axl - "Thor, you failed all of us when you flung that hammer. You owe it to all of us to god up and do whatever it takes to get that hammer back."
Derrick - "My Lord, could you, the Allfather, emasculate yourself to do this?"
Axl - "Dude, it's like wearing a dress for, like, five minutes."
Derrick - "Then I will play the bride... if you... will play my bridesmaid."
- Derrick lays the terms for agreeing to Thom and Kerry's ultimatum
Axl - "Derrick! What are you doing?"
Derrick - "You were right."
Axl - "About what?"
Derrick - "I'm a failure as a God. Husband, father, farmer, God."
- Derrick has his reasons for wanting to end it
Ty - "Look."
Olaf - "Hey, you did the freezing thing." (realization) "You did the freezing thing."
Ty - "No, this is wrong. This is meant to have gone."
Olaf - "Clearly it hasn't."
Ty - "How? Höðr left me. Now he's back, and I want to know why."
Olaf - "Whoa. Possibly because you're very angry and kind of intense right now."
Ty - "It shouldn't matter what mood I'm in. It's meant to have gone. Fuck."
Olaf - "Or he mostly left you, but there was an ember or whatever the ice equivalent of an ember is left deep inside you, and something tonight caused the ember to burst into flame or... ice."
- Ty and Olaf discuss the former's returning powers
- Colin is talking to his new interns, telling them that Auckland needs a hero (him), not a man.
- Ty is cleaning up his place in preperation of Allannah's arrival, and has also selected The Princess Bride DVD to watch.
- While Suzie is fitting Axl into the dress, she tells him how the bridesmaid who originally owned the dress got caught with the bride, to which Axl jokingly asks if there are any straight people in Whangamaungamoa. Suzie then jokes that with him in the dress, she's starting to wonder which team she's on.
- Olaf arrives at JPR to share concerns about Anders's consorting with Colin. Anders protests that Colin is not their enemy, which Olaf begs to differ following the burning down of Ty's place.
- Oh My - Performed by Gin Wigmore (Theme Music)
- Corale - Performed by The Phoenix Foundation
- I Won't Let You Down - Performed by Mel Parsons
- In My Heart - Performed by Mel Parsons
- Oh Girl - Performed by Cut Off Your Hands
- Town Like Here - Performed by The Eastern
- Cheryl Moana Marie - Carlin Music Corp, performed by Geoffrey Dolan
- Maxine - Sharon L. ONeill, performed by Ryan Lampp
- During the second season, Bryn mentioned that Thor was noted for occassionally wearing women's clothes, which Derrick scoffed at at the time.