The Almighty Johnsons Wiki

The Asparagus is Kicking In
Season 3, Episode 8
Air date August 22, 2013
Written by Tim Balme
Directed by Michael Hurst
Episode guide
Typical Auckland God
Mike in the Mirror

The Asparagus is Kicking In is the eighth episode of the third season, and is the thirty-first episode of The Almighty Johnsons overall


Why are Grandpa and Axl naked on the beach? Does Anders actually even have a conscience? And just what will it take for Mike to go to war?


Dawn is questioning some points of Colin's campaign advertising, and Colin is surprisingly serious when taking in her criticisms. After she leaves, Colin tells Anders that he feels an attraction to her, and Anders warns him not to go there, particularly since she is with Lance. Ty watches as Dawn and Lance prepare to head off on a date to see a French film, and gets the impression that things are not going smoothly for them. He mentions that he had a previous girlfriend that loved going to French films with him, and Dawn seems to find Ty to be a better person than she previously thought.

Mike & Axl at Hole in One

Mike and Axl have returned to Auckland, and have brought with them several prizes that they gathered up along the way back. Axl finds Zeb languishing pathetically on the couch, who has not been coping with the living conditions since Axl's departure. As an apology, Axl gives him some of his prize money to pay off his rent. Mike returns to his bar to find Ingrid there, and that she and Michele have redecorated his living area. Mike is concerned about how Michele has paid for it, and she holds back her and Ingrid's scheme of healing using Yggdrasil.

When Axl goes to see Olaf, he demands to know where his car is (which Joe had taken from him before he and Axl had headed off). Axl reveals what happened to it, and asks for some oracle advice, and Olaf agrees so long as they use Axl's car to drive to the beach. Once Olaf has had his surf, Axl asks about Jörmungandr, since Eggther mentioned him when he was leaving, and having now received the message stating that Jörmungandr is stirring in Norsewood. Olaf asks that they go back to the city, but only so that he can get some of his weed.

Anders becomes more and more concerned as Colin has Dawn fulfilling his campaign duties, particularly when Colin's requests start biting into her own schedules, but she determines that it's fine.

Axl questions Olaf getting high before sharing his wisdom, and when asking about Jörmungandr, Zeb actually proves useful when he mentions that Jörmungandr is a giant sea serpent, and that is he ever let his tail go, it would bring about Ragnarök, an apocalypse that would be the end of both mortals and Gods. Mike shares Axl's concerns, and as Axl begins to suspect that he is going to be the cause of Ragnarök, Mike sends him away to berate Olaf for ruining his work in getting Axl back on track. Olaf refuses to listen, and tells Axl that they're leaving.

Dawn has dressed up to attend an event with Colin to further promote his campaign, and when Lance arrives, he feels threatened by Colin. He tries to make Dawn see that she is being used and insults Colin. Dawn refuses to leave with him, and Lance breaks things off between him and Dawn. Colin gloatingly notes to Anders that Dawn is now single.

Tigilau, the Polynesian God and Guardian of Fish

Upon settling at a beach, Olaf insists that they shed their clothes before going in the water. Once in, Axl begins to meets Olaf's friend Tigilau, the Polynesian guardian of Sea-Life. Axl realizes that he was the one who shocked him when he was swimming with Tansy. Tigilau confirms their suspicions of Ragnarök's approach, but claims that there is little they can do to prevent it, and shocks Axl again to berate him for (as Odin) being the cause of Jörmungandr's anger. Upon exiting the water, the pair are confronted by the police, who aren't happy with their skinny-dipping. Mike bails them out, and berates Olaf again, leaving him to find his own way home.

Colin fakes sympathy to Dawn for causing her and Lance's breakup, but she agrees to still be his plus-one. Anders tells Colin that Dawn won't sleep with him, hoping to burst his egotistical bubble. Colin, however, does not take this well, and reminds Anders that he is practically paying for his life and end it himself, as well as that of his family if he doesn't back off.

Lance mentions to Ty his breakup with Dawn, and is angered to learn that Colin is responsible. He goes to Anders to rage at him, but Anders protests that he had nothing to do with it. He does mention that Colin wants him to help seduce Dawn and how Colin is threatening their lives, before noticing that Ty is emitting a cold aura as his rage grows.

Mike and Axl find that Zeb is squirreling away supplies for Ragnarök, and Axl remains concerned about Tigalau's advice that they cannot stop it. Mike, who no longer entirely believes in Jörmungandr or Ragnarök, encourages Axl not to think like that, and to follow his own path and not listen to what others tell him. Anders stands up Colin, saying that he will not use his powers on Dawn, and even if he seduces her on his own, asks that he not hurt her. Colin says that he has no intention to, but reminds Anders which of them has more power. When Dawn arrives, he reluctantly influences Dawn to succumb to Colin's advances.

Colin is confronted by Anders and Ty

At his event, Colin kisses Dawn, and she responds thanks to Anders' powers, and she leads him to a back alley in an apparent seduction. However Anders is revealed to have only used her to this point, as Anders confronts Colin himself, having been unable to allow anything to happen to Dawn. Colin reasserts his threat to Anders as Ty arrives and warns him to back off. Colin is unafraid of the apparent mortal, and prepares to burn both of the brothers. However Ty reveals the return of his powers, surprising Colin and starts freezing him to the point of almost killing him, and breaks his arm before Anders tells Ty to back off. As they leave, Colin swears vengeance. Dawn, seeing some of these strange events from the alley's end, suddenly has an onslaught of memories of her and Ty return, and she quickly flees.

Axl decides that there is not going to be a Ragnarök, believing that if he finds Frigg and gets his powers, he can deal to Jörmungandr and thus save the world. Finally feeling that he has a purpose in life, he starts preparing to hasten his search, and decides he wants to start by getting a job .

Ty and Anders reveal their attack on Colin to Mike and Michele, the former revealing the return of his powers as well. Mike decides that they need to end Colin's threat once and for all. Soon enough, Colin comes to Mike, and Mike offers him a chance to get out of the Johnsons' lives for good, but Colin refuses to play into Mike's games. However Mike tricks Colin into accepting his challenge and the two begin fighting, but Loki's flame powers won't work because of Mike's rule that there be no powers. Colin reluctantly accepts defeat for now, and leaves.

Zeb, Ingrid and Axl get to work searching for Frigg, even as Axl starts his new job delivering pizzas. Anders pulls out of funding Colin's campaign. As she laments that they no longer have any clients, Dawn does her best to not reveal that she saw happen between him, Ty and Colin, and is afraid.



  • Writer - Tim Balme
  • Director - Michael Hurst
  • Script Editor - James Griffin
  • Storyliners - James Griffin, Tim Balme, Ross Hastings, Natalie Medlock & Laura Hill
  • Producer - Mark Beasley
  • Executive Producers - James Griffin, Chris Bailey, John Barnett & Kelly Martin


Axl - "And I really want to know what this Jörmungandr actually is."
Zeb - "the giant sea serpent, also known as the Midgard Serpent."
Olaf - "Well done, Zeb." (offers him his joint)
Zeb - "It was put into the ocean by Odin, and it grew so big... (takes a puff from the joint) ...that it wrapped itself right around the Earth to the point where it holds its own tail in its mouth."
- Zeb takes the mantle of explaining things to Axl for Olaf

Mike - "So, let me get this straight - Jörmungandr is stirring,..."
Olaf - "Yes, Mike. Big time."
Mike - "...and he's a giant sea serpent,..."
Axl - "Yeah, that goes right around the globe."
Mike - "...and if he lets go of his tail, the seas will rise?"
Olaf - "And the air will turn toxic, and Ragnarök will ensue."
Axl - "Shit. The sea is rising; the air is turning toxic. I caused global warming."
- While explaining Jörmungandr to Mike, Axl starts thinking that he, as Odin, caused global warming

Lance - "Right, you got a choice to make, Dawn, OK? Me and rock climbing tonight or your work thing."
Dawn - (quickly) "Work thing."
Lance - "This is a choice you shouldn't make lightly, OK?"
Dawn - "Work thing."
Lance - (to Colin) "Right. Well, this isn't over, OK? (to Dawn) But this is. This is over, all right? Never want to see you again. (walks out then comes back in) You didn't sign for the..." (Dawn signs for parcel)
- Lance's breakup favors Dawn more than him

Axl - "Surely we can stop this."
Tigilau - "Yeah, um, good luck with that. And, uh..." (zaps Axl)
Axl - (grunts) "Can you stop doing that!?"
Tigilau - "Next time you release a metaphorical serpent into the world, think a thousand years into the future when it's a grown metaphorical serpent, OK!?"
Axl - "That was a previous Odin."
Tigilau - "He who fits the jandal wears the jandal."
- Tigilau isn't happy about Odin's creation of Jörmungandr creating troubles with his fish

Colin - "Piss off, mortal boy."
Ty - "Come within a hundred meters of Dawn or Anders or any member of my family or anyone that I even vaguely know, and I will kill you."
Colin - "How? By beating me with your bicycle pump?"
Ty - "You get one warning, that's all."
Colin - Fuck off. I don't like threats, especially from mortals. It riles me. And when I get riled... (sets some rubbish on fire) Next time that's you, mortal." (points at Ty)
Ty - (grabs Colin's arm, as a rush of wind occurs) "Who are you calling mortal? (flames go out and Colin's arm starts to freeze, causing him to well in pain) Yeah, that's right. Höðr's back."
- Ty and Colin's confrontation comes to a head with Ty on top

Deleted Scenes[]

  • As Dawn agrees to try on the dress that Colin bought her, Anders complains to Colin that he should stop trying to get with her, since she isn't his type. Colin thinks otherwise and asks if Anders wants her for himself. Anders protests, saying she is like a sister to him, to which Colin remarks he could tell him stories of his own sister.
  • After Mike's attempt to encourage Axl to pursue his own course, Axl agrees to do so, and starts thinking heavily about what he should do. As Zeb checks their Ragnarok survival food, he suggests that they should drink to help them think.


  • Oh My - Performed by Gin Wigmore (Theme Music)
  • Gandalf - Performed by The Phoenix Foundation
  • Fairytales and Constellations - Performed by Mulholland



  • Ragnarök is predicted to occur upon Jormungand letting go of his tail. Tigilau suggested that Jormungand would do this as the seas rose and air became toxic; essentially global warming.
  • Tigilau is suggested to have known Tigilau for years, so Olaf must have known that Polynesian Gods existed, yet when the Johnsons met the Maori Gods, he seemed surprised that there was another pantheon on Gods out there.